Rantings of a Coconut

Ups and downs

2011-09-08T00:29:00.000+08:00

I just realised you can suddenly be very happy at one moment, then utterly sad the next. that your words, not matter how innocuous it may be, can just devastate the emotional state on another person dearest to you.

And the same goes the other way. I was so so extremely relaxed and happy today, after a very smooth-flowing workday creating some passing testbanches. Then after typing a very stupid comment on facebook, my world just came crashing down after my dearest took offence so badly on what I jsut said. I haven't felt this happy and stress free in a long long long while, not since last year, not since my house renovations completed, not since along time i can remember. I finally managed to complete everything in my checklist, and i really mean everything. with just a code review and a pesky SPR from the apps team to bug me for the next 2 days. then, I will be free and get my long deserved holiday with you.

But alas, it was a short lived one. Now I am wallowing in self pity and remorse, wishing so much I could take back my words, and make everything better and perfect again. How I wished we are not far apart, and I can just hug you and everything will be so much better. I am not good with words, really don't know how to tell you that I really did not mean what I said. That I didnt know the hell you've been thru today, and my words was just the exact tipping point for you to boil over.

So with all my heart, I hope you will be able to be happy again tomorrow. then all of these will just be a storm in the past.

#update:- I am happy again now. my baby is talking to me again! :)

All alone again

2011-02-13T12:21:00.001+08:00

My Happiness Generator has left me again.

Part of me wished that she didn't need to go back, so that the happy moments last week could last forever. Part of me wished that my dearie didn't need to face the cold and hostile reception that she will receive when she goes back, just like the weather back there, making her turn to Korean Magpie for comfort. Part of me wished all Korean Magpies just drop dead and dissapear from the world.

But alas, life if not always a bed of roses. There's always be ups and downs. There'l always be Korean Magpies. I've just had my 1 week of happiness with her, So I'll just have to brace myself for the downs, for the challenges at work, and at love. I think that feeling applies to the both of us.

Sometimes I think the tears we cry when we are separated is not because of the sadness of separation itself, but the thought of facing all these challenges alone without the comforting hug of your loved ones at arms length, without being able to come home to a safe cosy nest and let all your worries outside just melt into oblivion.

However, I believe in the syaing that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. All these challenges will definitely strengthen our emotional endurance. Winter is about to come to an end and with Spring, I hope her situation there would improve, just like the weather. I hope this new year will give us the wisdom and strength to tide thru another year apart from each other. I hope what my aunt says about 2 weeks is true for 2 years as well, that the first week will pass by slowly, but the second will just shot pass you in an instant. And we'll be back together again, living our happily ever after.

Make you feel my love

2010-12-21T15:09:00.000+08:00

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

Hang in there...

Lift Me Up

2010-11-26T11:28:00.001+08:00

Everybody wants to achieve happiness.
It means different things to different people.
As an engineer at heart, I basically have a checklist of what constitutes happiness, at least for material happiness
a) to land a nice comfortable job which pays relatively well (tick)
b) to own a nice comfortable car to commute and bring around loved ones safely (tick)
c) to have a nice condo with a swimming pool in a good location (almost tick)
d) to travel the world especially europe in decky mode at least once (almost tick, will be tick when I get my RSU hahah)
e) the most important one- to have a companion to share all my happiness with me (tick)
A few untick ones are
f) have 2 smart boys and a beautiful girl in the future
g) upgrade from condo to a nice landed property suitable for young kids to grow and develop.
h) have a stable flow of side income so as not to need to worry about money ever again

So after working hard to achieve almost all my checklist, why am I still feeling an empty hallow in me?
I think I found the answer to that question.
Its because all the material checklist pales in comparison to the happiness I will feel when my loved ones are happy. Because ultimately, I'm a person who links his happiness with the happiness of others. The greatest thing I'm thankful for is that the person that matters to me also link her happiness to mine. So in a certain sense its a good thing as well as a bad thing. In the programming world, this is like a recursive loop.
In a control system, it's a positive feedback mechanism. A positive feedback mechanism is a double edged sword. It could spiral upward or downwards.
When happiness is being fed into the system, the amount of happiness will just multiply. Whenever she smiles, or shares a joyful moment with me, everything that surrounds me will brighten up.
However, the converse is also true, sadness and emptiness will also propagate thru the system just as quickly. When your loved ones are down in the dumps, in a quarter life crisis, or are in fact searching for their own definition of happiness, I will ultimately feel for them and hope that they will be happy again.
Because in the end of the day, her happiness is also my happiness.

During these times, I'll always remember the words from Ajahn Brahm "This too shall pass". Life is full of ups and down and we just need to learn to ride thru it without getting too attached.

Let's just fall in Love again!

2010-09-29T21:15:00.002+08:00

Ever since I started working in another company which doesn't provide me with a laptop, I'm "forced" not to take any work home with me. Yippee!! I've found more spare time now to just relax and ponder about .... nothing. And what a nice feeling that was, to finally have time to think about what I want for myself now and in the future.

A few days ago, while thinking about nothing, I casually browsed through our wedding dinner photos by chance. Although you're 6 hours of flight away from me now, through the photos, I really feel the joy and happiness we shared on that special night. Time just suddenly turned back and there I was again beside the podium, waiting to take your hands into mine, saying our wedding vows all over again.

I'm thankful to have found you to spend my whole life with, to share all my worries and happiness with, to have someone to share my thoughts of nothingness with, to tell jockishly dumb jokes to, and to flash my cute silly grin to everyday on webcam. I love you. Can't wait to meet you again soon!

Muse

2009-11-26T20:46:00.002+08:00

My friend is marrying his muse tomorrow. I found my muse but will lose her soon :(

Hopes and Fears

2009-09-11T03:01:00.002+08:00

Fear to venture into the unknown has always been an Achilles' heel for many of us, and after some deep soul searching, is true for me as well. What makes us fear of uncertainty so much? Is it because of our attachment to the daily grinds of our lives? Attachment to the creature comforts? Of is it just some biological gene that nudge us towards routines and predictability once we are approcahing 30?

Whatever it is, today both of us have decided to take a mini first step out of our comfort zone in search of something better. I hope that we will have the strength and tenacity to ride out the exciting future awaiting us. And a dash of good luck would do wonders to this dream!

Weather

2008-06-22T02:14:00.003+08:00

I've been pondering the reason for me not blogging for such a long time. And I can only come to the conclusion that I only blog when I feel sad or mellow.
But for one full year, you're my source of happiness that uncluttered my soul. You're the single reason that have transformed me from a Coldplay-loving guy, to a Fergie idol. From soul to pop. from cloudy to sunny. From greyscale to technicolor.

One Year

2008-06-22T01:46:00.002+08:00

One Year is 12 months, or 52 weeks or 365 days. Whichever way you look at it, It a long long time. Try as I might, I can't find a way of making a year sounds like a short time. I can't kid myself that the next year would be a testing, but exhilirating one at the same time.

Ever since received the good news that I'll get to achieve one of my ultimate goal of working in this company, my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride. Happy and exhilarated by the chance to see the world and earn some moolah, but at the same time sad that I'll have to leave behind my source of stabilty and happiness for one year. Sad for no longer able to wake up to your calm sleepy face in the morning. Sad for not able to greet your mornings with hugs and kisses. Sad for not able to take care of you when you're ill. Sad that the exact 2 things that I've always wanted, I'll have to choose one at the expense of the other.

I wish I can be a good juggler, to be able to maintain a long distance relationship to be as warm and loving as the time we had for the past year, and yet still achieve all my career goals. Only time will tell if I succeed...

Gave up

2007-08-07T10:45:00.000+08:00

I once had hope for humanity, thinking that the essential being of us is goodness, and that badness is an acquired thing. But it seems now that greed, selfishness, and kiasuism is so prevalent in our society that it takes a tremendous willpower for the goodness within us to overcome all the temptation. Most of the times, we'll just take the easy way out, and let the staus quo prevails, lulling us into believing that the actions we have just taken is correct, since everyone is also doing it.
But we just need to dwell deeper into our soul, and we know, subconciously, that it is not. The battle to do the right thing is a hard one to be won. I am fighting this battle myself, needing to be conscious of every thing I say or do, so as not to cause harm to others, to control myself to not take the shortcut, to not step on other people. I hope I have the strengh to do the right thing when it comes down to it. And I hope all of us will also have the presence of mind to balance what is good for us, and what is good for the rest.
I hope there is still hope for humanity.

Beautiful Brown Eyes

2007-06-11T09:47:00.000+08:00

Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
I'll never love blue eyes again

Darling, I love you, my Darlin'
I love you with all my heart
Tomorrow we might have been married
But ramblin' has kept us apart

Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
I'll never love blue eyes again

Down through the barroom he staggered
And fell down by the door
The very last words that he uttered
"I'll never see brown eyes no more"

Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
I'll never love blue eyes again

I Love You

2007-05-02T16:35:00.000+08:00

She asked me, "What do you like about me".
I have no perfect, objective answer at that moment. I just know that she's the one. After scutinizing and thinking objectively, here are some reasons why she's so special. It may sound corny, but here goes:-

1) her friendly and bubbly personality.
2) her forgiving and understanding nature.
3) able to see the goodness in others, empathatic person.
4) she trusts me in everything I do.
5) the way she says "dear" and "darling".
6) her hot, smouldering good looks.
7) same interest in music, swimming and wordplay
8) she lets me be chivalrous
9) the way she carries herself well
10) she loves unconditionally
11) comfortable and nice to relax / hang out with.
12) her blurness complements mine. hahah. :)

The Happiest Guy on Earth

2007-04-27T09:34:00.000+08:00

She said YES!
Cupid's Chokehold playing over and over in my head...

Grace Kelly Improvised

2007-04-18T13:09:00.000+08:00

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
(pulling the balls , wailing...)
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
(let go, relief....)
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
I hope you like me,
I hope you like me,
Hope you don't walk out the door...

Feeling 22 Acting 17

2007-04-16T01:25:00.000+08:00

Being in love is like riding a slide. The biggest hurdle is to overcome the fear when you are perched atop the "S" curve. Just when you are about to heave that final push, doubts and uncertainties starts to fill the mind, an air of resistance building up in your thumping heart, because you know, once the slide begins, there is no turning back. You'll just have to accept whatever landing that fate has to offer.
I am now standing high up in the air, waiting for the right amount of wind, waiting for the right timing, waiting to take the plunge. Or did I just missed it?

Paper mache

2007-04-15T19:30:00.000+08:00

On Thursday I turned into a kindergarten kid all over again. It just suddenly struck me to make something meaningful for meaningful person. So I decided against my better judgement to create a handicraft item , never mind that I have always been a C or D student when it comes to art. The handicraft item? A paper mache vase.

The first step is to create the gum base to be used. I scoured the internet for the recipe, and finally found a simple one - put in 1/2 part corn flour and 1 part cold ater and stir, then add this cup to 5 cups of boiling water. It's like magic! I would never imagine the cornflour that is used for cooking my fried chicken etc can turn up into a gooey gum paste. Really fascinated by it all.

Getting my hands dirty was quite fun. I actually managed to lie to myself that I am creating a work of art, sculpting the water bottle into something worthy of display in the cabitnets of an art connoisseur! Alas, even after all the effort in salvaging the vase, it turns up like this :-

Anatomi

2007-04-10T09:54:00.000+08:00

Hati berdegap-degup,
Tangan terketar-ketar,
Telinga berdegring-dering,
Menanti sebuah jawapan.

Hati bersorak-sorai,
Tangan bergenggam-genggam,
Mulut tersengih-sengih,
Menerima sebuah jawapan.

Sinaran

2007-04-09T09:28:00.000+08:00

Alangkah baik jika waktu bisa putar kembali,
Alangkah indah jika sinaran lembut bulan memancar kembali,
Menyuluh pantai sejauh mata memandang,
Menerangi jiwa si pria yang bergelomang.
Memperkasa hati, menggagahkan semangat,
Bagi menyuarakan isi hati yang kini kekal berkocakan.

A Boss's Perspective

2007-04-06T07:00:00.000+08:00

We always complain about how our bosses not taking care of us good enough, Not fighting for us during focal etc.
A friend recently forwarded an interesting article on the Boss's perpective of us. Sometimes i think its quite true, some of the statements really struck the bulls eye. Hopefully with this guide, my plan to bodek the boss will succeed. heheh....
Again sorry for not able to link properly or post photos. Really need to get to the bottom of this...

The article:
http://money.guardian.co.uk/work/story/0,,2048182,00.html

Si Jantung Hati

2007-04-06T05:13:00.000+08:00

This song has been stuck in my head eversince I woke up this morning... arrggh...
This song really has a Thai feel to it.

(Dangdut rhythm)
Badanku kurus bukannya kurang makan,
Mataku Merah bukannya kurang tidur,
Sedih hatiku kerana Si Jantung Hati... oh... Si Jantung Hati...

(Chorus)
Engkau berjanji
Hanya aku yang kau nanti,
Waktu ku pergi,
Kau suntingkan bunga Melati,
Tapi kini, semuanya hanya mimpi...

Aku bernyanyi sendiri menghibur hati,
Aku tak mahu terluka kedua kali,
Penaglaman ku dengannya
Si jantung hati ohh.... si jantung hati....

(Fade out)

I only knew this version. However, after searching for the lyrics in you tube, found an updated version sung by an Indo Rock Group Fedora. There's even a Vietnamese/Thai cover version of the song... (Sorry, can link properly. I wonder what's wrong with my blogger....)

Original Dangdut Version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm3XiilChLQ

Rock Version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH48wS_PPq4

Viet/Thai Version
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWTy8mwVCvE

Genting - City of Entertainment

2007-04-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

Someone commented that the highland felt like being watched over by a pair of eyes. I have the same feeling. Whenever I reached the peak, a queasy feeling of uneasiness will just hit me. This, coupled with the fact that the bus driver took his own sweet time to meander through every single federal roads instead of taking the highway, left me with a slightly bad aftertaste of the whole trip. Nevertheless, the bunch of people we went with did thin the thick air of hopelessness which I have always associated Genting with. Although a short trip, I actually did many firsts in this trip. 1) First time gambled using chips instead of the slot machine. 2) First time watching a movie in a cineplex on an OSIM massage chair. 3) First time sang karaoke in genting. 4) First time riding on the spinner and Superman.

HELP!!!! I CANNOT POST PICTURES!!!!!

power of love

2007-04-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

These 2 days, I witness a real life change of someone due to the power of love.
Haha... never thought it would be possible to for the person to have a 360 degree change in personality.
But i guess its for the good of all :)

Katie Melua

2007-03-28T14:18:00.000+08:00

This is the closest thing to crazy I have ever been
Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen,
This is the nearest thing to crazy I have ever known,
I was never crazy on my own…
And now I know that there's a link between the two,
Being close to craziness and being close to you.

Corny poems

2007-03-24T02:47:00.000+08:00

Some company are like bees to honey,
attracted by the lucarative rewards by remaining in the vicinity.

Some company are like the wind,
Changing direction and intensity without prior notice.

Some company are like the ecology,
Depending on each other for their survival.

And some company are like diamonds,
to be treasured and cherished for eternity.

Imagination

2007-03-23T21:18:00.000+08:00

"You look like care bear!", a colleague of mine suddenly blurted out during lunch today. I was stunned for a moment. I would never have imagined myself as care bear, butwhat the heck, at least that's better than being narrowed down as hermit the frog...

Admittedly or not, sometimes you just couldn't help yourself but to equate a person's facial features to certain characters. I have friends who looks like jar jar binks, like shaggy in scooby doo, wolverine etc, (I shall not name them lest reprisals comes smoothly. hahah...).

When I was younger, I used to imagine numbers having a certain colour attached to them. And I still do now. Three is always a yellowish orange tinge, two is purplish red, six is dark green, seven in dark blue etc... Does anyone also have this "colour your numbers" syndrome?

Torment

2007-03-23T10:24:00.000+08:00

Jiwa terasa kontang,
namun jadual tetap disaratkan,
perihal bius mengekang keperitan.

Hati terasa pilu,
namun zahir tetap ceria,
menatapi wajah insan si dia.

Omong kosong tanpa niat,
namun pedas tetap terasa,
meneguk air tanpa kelegaan.

Silence of the Night

2007-03-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

Keheningan malam bagai sembilu,
menusuk sanubari,
setiap liang roma,
Ngilu, pedih, diseret-sorot.

Kesepoian bayu menyelubungi tubuh,
menyentak akal fikiran,
namun batin tetap resah,
sesak, lemas, diperap-rendamkan.

System Reset

2007-03-22T08:48:00.000+08:00

This morning I woke up with the weird feeling of living on the wrong timespace. The songs on Fly FM sound weird... Good Charlotte's I just wanna live, Jojo's too little too late... Aren't these supposed to be hits 2-3 months ago??? And just As I was getting ready to jot doewn the whole song list for the blog, the list changed to the present era gain - Gwen's Sweet Escape, This Ain'a A scene etc... Hmm... Was wondering, is there a slip in the Matrix? , and time just turned back for 3 months?

Speaking about this, I recently had not 1, but 2 deja vu's. The first one happened when I was in Guardian with a colleague, and she mentioned to check on a peach body bath at a certain aisle. I'm certain I dreamnt of this or experirence this before. The second one was when I was sending my car over to Honda's service centre in Jalan Sg. Pinang. The sights and sound at a particular moment just seems so familiar, yet I have never been there before.

What's happening to me???...

Brand power

2007-03-21T21:47:00.000+08:00

Just read an interesting article from The Sun about branding. The author actually made use of her expertise in the creative field to "brand" herself, calling it "unique selling propositions", or USPs for need of a TLA (that's a three letter acronym for "Three Letter Acronym") and hopes to qualify for the selection of "The Amazing Race".

This got me thinking, should we also not "brand" ourselves to compete for the attention of the ones we love. To showcase our qualities and downplay our bad points. Would this come naturally to us when the situation wrrants it, or will we need to dig out this rusted survival instinct from the depths of our leisure lives?

Hmm so how do I downplay my blurness? Any suggestions? :)

Alarm Call

2007-03-16T08:02:00.000+08:00

I don't know had gotten into me today but I decided to call in for Fly FM's alarm call and managed to get through! So after chatting with the phone call handler gal which sound like Asha Gill, she asked me to hang up and the station will give me a call in like 5 seconds.

So, I waited and waited for Fly FM to call me back but they never did, until I decided to call in again and only then I found out my blunder - instead of giving out my phone number, I gave out the friend's phone number that needs a wake up call. hahah....So in the end, I think the whole thing was called off. Hopefully the other person din get frighten with all the weird phone numbers in the early morning. Anyways, at least the song I requested came thru, at 7.30 that is... Kaiser Chiefs rulez!!!

The Cube Connection

2007-03-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

I recently had a peek at my housemates cube over a game of basketball at his company. The myth IS true. They have pantry with self dispensing Nescafe and Milo. They have cubes that is 1.5 times bigger than mine, and they have nice clean marble lined toilet vanity tops.

However, what catches my attention is the sense sterileness of the whole environment. There isnt even a single stary A4 paper, announcing some team activites or project development. It feels like Umbrella Corp in the zombie movie... (whats the name...) Even the air smells like antiseptic lotion. Maybe that's why most people can separate their work easily compared to my fellow colleagues. We are just too comfortable in our cubes!

The angry day

2007-03-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

Anger fills me today like a slow burning molten lava, even though I had the company of interesting and witty people. I really don't know why I'm feeling this way.

Maybe its because she started talking to me again after several long weeks of silence and rejection, after I've just decided to remove her photo from my mobile, after I've given up hope. Or maybe its the feeling of a friend being made used of, and angry that this consequence may also befall upon me.

The movie I watched today does help to quell some of the anger, and reminded me of the pureness of love, but I still don't know what to do. Maybe the tarot card was right, my indecisiveness is always my Achilles Heel.

Shattered

2007-03-13T14:44:00.000+08:00

Someone just shattered my whole notion of how to pursue a gal. Is it true that you need to be persistent and strike while the iron is hot? Shouldn't you actually start to build up the mutual feeling first, making sure the gal is comfortable with you, before making a move?

Anyways, at least according to her, the guy theory that categorises girls into "potentials" and "just friends" dos not apply. So does this mean that even if the relationship now is more buddy like, then there is still a chance to turn it over into something more meaningful?

Pening...

If you don't succeed, try and try again

2007-03-12T02:25:00.000+08:00

All my life I have been taught that if you try hard enough in anything, you can overcome all adversity. I hope that this still hold true now in the working world. The world is your oyster. Hope that all my preparation does not just go to waste, and that it really does influence the decision making process of someone.

Dream Girls

2007-03-09T00:47:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since I've watched a musical. I guess the last one was "the Producers".
While the producer is a light hearted comedy with all the laughs thrown in the right places, Dream Girls is quite serious, depicting the racial apatheid that still exist in the then white Americas. Are sacrifices in personal values and integrity worth it in breaking the proverbial glass ceiling? When do you know enough is enough? Does the ends really justifies the means?

Beyonce as the lead singer in "The Dreams", looking hot with the typical hippie hand band from the 70's

There are so many songs in the musical that I think no one can escape the cinema without at least having a tune stuck in their head. I had fun listening to the 60's and 70's pop music, while at the same time trying to discern what's exactly in the song that makes us immediately able to tag a song as belonging to a certain era. Jennifer Hudson rocks! Although at times, i think its her powerful vocals that is causing the ringing in my ears now. The official website has some of the songs featured.

Happiness is ...

2007-03-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

I was awaken this morning by the sound of a sobbing girl. No this is not a ghost story. It's actually the radio station airing the grievance of a broken hearted girl. Fly FM had introduced this program called "Fix It" since around a month or two ago. But sometimes I think that things can get a little out of hand for the DJs to manage.
A lack of vocabulary and a hyena-like laughter does not a good shrink make. Anyways, its sad to see how they turn an OK situation into an even bigger mess. The situation that was to be "fix"ed is quite simple. A guy and a gal had a time out and the gal wanted to reconcile over the phone. But I guess even the DJs werent perepared for what happened next - the guy actually broke up with the gal over the phone... Kesian the girl...

Anyways, my day improved after a few smooth sailing events:- my Citibank credit card just got approved, and my work ran fine the first time it was set up (can kena nombor man...). But the best part was the movie I managed to catch coz of the smooth run. The words "you gotta dream, you gotta protect it" really got me thinking, coz normally you'll say "you gotta treasure it, or strive for it", but never protect it. Although selfish-sounding, Will Smith's explanation of the phrase does make sense. The movie does have its share of cliches and improbrable event (like how he manages to recover all the 3 stolen medical devices he's supposed to sell), but still its a nice and inspiring movie to lift my spirits up and look ahead to another hectic day tommorow.

May everyone be well and happy.

Smash

2007-03-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

It seems that practice does make perfect. I was surprised to see how much a colleague of mine has improved his badminton skills today. Kena beaten flat out, though I'm don't really play this sports la, so still can be excused. Be careful man... I'll always resent the fact that you made me run around the whole courst macam orang kena sampuk...arrgghh...

Sleepless In Penang

2007-03-05T01:02:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure why but I just can't shut my eyes to prepare for another big day next morning. I'm sure its not the caffeine.

Maybe its my internal clock which has been screwed up for the past 2 weeks. Maybe its the thought of another black Monday. Maybe its the cleanliness of my room after a super long period of unkeptness. Or maybe its thought of the many other housekeeping stuff which I can still tidy up and embark upon.

A colleague of mine recently went for a course of feng shui with an insightful revelation on the cause of his bad dreams. Should I also do likewise to my room to improve my luck in career, finance, and perhaps love?

Speaking of love, when do you know if a person is still within grasp, or have been out of your reach? When do you know to stop pursuing, and let things be? Is it when the other person is super secretive about revealing her group of friends she hang out with? Or when previously agreed upon plans are suddenly altered, mistakenly or not. or is it when the conversations start to turn from personal to just civil? Or is it when instant messengers are never turned on whenever you're online? Or is it when countless invitations are being turned down politely?

Conversely, when do you know if a friendship has the spark to turn into something more meaningful? Is it when you can converse the whole night away with each other until you miss the ride home? Is it when you preplan a birthday celebration weeks in advance? Which is more important? Common interest, and personality, or personal values of a person?

Hahah.... these are some open ended question I'm not really expecting for an answer anytime soon. Here's hoping that life's path will let me stumble upon some answers along the way.

A Meat Lover's Vegetarian Week

2007-01-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

The Wednesday began innocently enough, after all the slogging in office (including spending quite some browsing air asia 1 million free seats promotions...) its time for dinner! So I took off in my Fifi anticipating the nice mee sua tau on the horizon. And that's when thing start to get awry.
After turning in to the junction near the Bayan Lepas mosque, "plunk plunk", I hit a cat and plundered it to death. Guilt and anger overwhelmed me right away, guilt for hitting the cat, angry because of the cat choosing that exact moment to cross the road. While I pulled my car over, a motorist actually took the cat away from the main road and left it at a sidewalk. It was dead. Still in denial mode, I actually left the scene and went for the dinner like nothing happened. Only while eating did it dawned to me - I actually took a life a way... So after dinner I went back, took the cat into my car and buried it near my housing area, said a prayer and left. My heart felt better but not totally relieved of the guilt in me.
I sms'ed a friend, to see if she has any suggestion on how to assuage my conscience. "To conpensate 1 life, you go meatless for one week". What? meatless? For a meat love guy like me to go meatless for a week is like, the ultimate sacrifice in culinary pleasure. Even for Wesak Day when Buddhist are supposed to be vegetarian for at least half a day, I'll purposely sleep till noon in order not to observe this tradition. But meatless it is! At least no need to go to jail, or lose my license if I hit a man instead.

Day 1:-
Breakfast was easy, I took my usual oatmeal + milo pekat like usual. It just occured to me that I'm actually vegetarian for half a day every single weekday! For lunch, this was a good excuse to let me try the vegetarian shop in Sunway Tunas recommended by the same friend. Tapau it and ate at home. Tak boleh tahan, tasteless as water! so the genius in me opened up the sambal sauce I use in every meal as its condiment when the food taste bland like now. Mmmmm yummy. But.... after eating my meal, noticed the sambal ingredient actually contain small microsopic prawns called geragau. So there goes my vege meal... But its the trying that counts right? Dinner after gym was a plate of fried rice, while my colleagues all enjoy sumptious meal of pai kut wong, singapore mee hoon and ginger chicken... arrgghhh really cannot tahan!!! after the fried rice still tak kenyang, so decided to go to the nearby shop to eat tau fu fah, the first nice vege food I've eaten the whole day.

Day 2:-
Breakfast as usual. Gym supplement cointain egg, don't know if this is permitted or not? But what the heck, where else am I supposed to get my protein? Luckily for me, one of my gym buddy is actually a vegetarian. So lunch was a breeze at the canteen, since I wasn't the only one on a vege diet. I tried the wantan mee from the vegetarian stall for the first time in my 2 yrs of working in *****. Hmm not too bad. During tea break, felt hungry so went over to my colleagues cube for snack of jelly beans. while popping the bean into my mouth, a neighbouring enlightened colleague who couldn't just leave me in ignorance told me that the beans actually contain gelatin from cow. arrgghhh!!! So hard to be vegetarian!!! Again its the trying that counts right? Dinner was even more torturing, my sadist friend who thought that I should not be let off so easily, actually have the balls to suggest KFC for dinner!!! KFC!!! What the... You think got vegetarian chicken there issit? But I decided not to force all to be vegetarian just because of me (don't worry - I will force you guys to makan vegetarian during the weekend muahahaha...), so I follow along. Was pleasantly surprised that KFC actually have a salad set without the popcorn chicken. So I ordered that + large mash potatoes + orange juice. Total bill = RM 10.74!!! What?!!! since when eating vege cost more than a 2 piece plate? So I endured the torture of looking and smelling the delicious and juicy fried chicken my friends had for dinner while I graze away on my plate of grass. The heavens above could not have devised a better torturing method. But I got through it unscathed! Went back felt hungry again. I think my stomach was just waiting for some meat... Where's the meat? where's the meat? It growled... So I opened the fridge, took out a slice of cheese, cut it into small pieces and out in on top of 12 jacob crackers, microwave it for 15 seconds and walla! baked cheese on crackers! Yummy.

Signs that you are a 70s' or 80s' baby

2006-12-28T16:04:00.000+08:00

Received this mail at work from a colleague. It really is true on most account. How many of them rings true to you?

Signs that you are a 70s' or 80s' baby:

You grew up watching G-Force, He-man, Transformers, Thundercats, Silver Hawk, Woody Woodpecker, Chipmunks and Mickey Mouse. Not to forget Ninja Turtles, Mask, Smurfs and Voltron too.

Girls watched Japanese cartoon like My Little Pony, "Xiao Tian Tian", "Hua Xian Zi" etc.

You squatted by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brushed your teeth with a colourful mug.

Remember the days when the school nurse, comes with a list for the dentist appointment, the sound of the drilling when your friend has a fill in his tooth.

You remember the packets of milk we get in primary school to encourage us to drink more milk. (It cost only 30 cent per pack)

In secondary school, girls go to the library to borrow their favourite romance storybook.

In secondary school, girls altered their school skirt to shorten it and guys will go to the school appointed school uniform tailor shop to tailor make their school trousers to the then fashionable "baggy pants"!

During primary school days, the teacher will punish you using a ruler to hit your palm.

A bowl of noodles soup cost only 30cent in primary school days.

When you were in primary school, girls like to go to the bookshop to buy cute stuff such as animal erasers, various shape sharpeners, colourful notebook etc.

Hankyu Jaya, Yaohan departmental stores used to be a favourite hangout for families during weekends.

In secondary school days, you buy the Bata BM Turbo or Pallas Jazz school shoes. Some guys like to wear those china made ankle high shoes. Some even like to wear those very thick socks with their school shoes.

Internet? E-mail? What the hell is that?

So you thought a decade or more ago, your friends don't have pagers or handphones in school.

CDs? What's that? Cassette tapes were the norm.
Movie tickets used to cost less than $5 last time.

The goodies from Mama shop used to be Chickerdis, Mamee , Kum Kum, UFO, O-Ya, Ding Dang chocolate balls with toys in the box, colourful hard "egg", "cigerette" bubble gum, KIKI Bubble Gum, pink bottle of bubbles with a small tubes with yellow sticks to blow "more lasting" bubbles that you can pop more air in or slam it on.

You never forget 'Ti Kam'.
When exams are over, the board games ( e.g Monopoly, Donkey, Transportation Comparison Card) & held video games will be all over the class room.

Your favourite sound is the bell.For it's the homemade ice cream man. The cream that tops Haagan Dazs!

And the other peddler you love is the old lady who sells juicy Muah Chee and thick golden syrup rolled in a balloon the tip of a chopstick.Another bell is the recess bell, a time to get away from school work and to eat.

Another time when there is no bell but all guys will anxiously wait for it...The PJ (Pendidikan Jasmani), PE time (time for football).Your favourite childhood games were playing "guli"(marbles), five stones, five bottle cover, zero-point, catching, "Pepsi-Cola one two three" and/or "Police & Sentry"!

The best thirst quencher of all times is the yummy colourful ice tubes you can buy from provision shops for only 10cent. To eat them, break the tab and suck while holding the freezing tube!

All gals have a girl doll/strawberry shortcake/my little pony/pound puppy, while all boys have a soldiers figurine (combat) or a rubber band catapult that shoots folded paper!

Once was the era whereby ice-cream sticks were valuable items, then came the paper aircrafts, chalk fights.

Some boys made their own guns from wood, and used 'Bacali' as the bullets.

Some even used matches to shoot and burn kids' lanterns during MoonCake Festival.

And your favourite holiday was Lunar New Year! New clothes, Ang Pows, shopping, junk food and family outings!

Let's see, the majority of students in universities today were born in 1987/ 88.... They are called "youth".

For them, they have never heard of the song "We are the World, we are the Children..." And the "Uptown Girl" they know is by 'West Life' but not "Billy Joel'.

For them, there have always been only one Germany and only one Vietnam.
AIDS exists since they were born.

CD exists since they were born.

Michael Jackson is already whitened.

John Travolta is always round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy could be a god of dance.

They believe that Spiderman and Incredible Hulk are just new films.

They can never imagine a black and white screen for a computer.

They never know what is Atari or 'Game & Watch'.

They can't believe a black and white television ever existed and they don't even know how to switch on a TV without a remote control.

And they never understand how we can go out without a mobile phone when we were in university...

The Red Kebaya

2006-12-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

2 weeks ago a kind colleague asked if I wanted to watch The Red Kebaya as he have 2 extra tickets. Or course I jumped at the opportunity! At first I thought it was just a normal movie ticket, mana tau it turns out to be a red carpet event!

Unfortunately the person I wanted to go with is still in mourning for the passing away of a relative, but I never thought I have another really semangat and happening friend, willing to travel all the way from Kulim to come for this premiere.

The Red Kebaya actually features quite a number of famous personalities such as Patrick Teoh, Elaine Daly, Paula Malai Ali and Jo Kukathas. The intention to have a good look at all the celebities before the movie start was nearly foiled by the bad jam, but luckily arrived on time to still catch a glimpse of them, but no photo opportunities though... :( GSC Gurney was suddenly turned into a land from the bygones, with most of the ladies all decked out in their finest kebaya. A good evening for people watching. Luckily for Clara, she still follows the theme somewhat, wearing a red jacket to go with her top.

Vanidah Imran looking prettier in person!

Clara with her red "kebaya"

The movie itself was somewhat over theatrical. With some of the dialogues feeling overly scripted and unnatural. But still, its a nice change from the usual slapstick and shoddily done romance comedy that most local producers air on the cinemas. The ending of the story was a bit of an anti climax though. Not gonna reveal more. hahah...

Fly-what?

2006-11-21T17:16:00.000+08:00

After being made fun as the radio station with the name of an insect, the underdog radio station tried to prove its mettle by hosting a concert for its first anniversary, dubbed the fly-niversary (this station tried to fly-ise every single thing it can get away with including flyday).

The venue (extreme park) turned out to be some unused mining pool with the access road hidden near the traffic light junction. The place really lived up to its name - xtremely unkept and xtremely ulu... Luckily the concert venue was set up quite ok.

I was quite peeved that there no freebies distributed... not even the fly FM key chain being stuffed into the jar on its website.... what happened to them?

Wel as they say good things are left in the end. The concert was quite a blast. With the opening act by the energetic OAG . (after all the disasterous event planning I was half expecting some unknown dude from a nearby cafe to provide the opening act). Generasiku was fun with all of the us shouting "ohh ohh ohh" during chorus.. :)

I'm not so familiar with One Buck Short, so did not really groove to their beat. Faizal of OIAM soso... Camelia's vocal was uber power! and as expected, sang "seiring sejalan" to a roaring crowd. The only lowlight of her performance was her wardrobe, it was as if she was expecting it to rain that night, coming with a grey hooded sleeveless jacket. Also, she keeps on to "betul"kan her hood as if she is wearing tudung... Nitrus was great with their hit "Kamu"

In between their performances, the Fly FM jokers came on air to give away the only 4 freebies they have - go holiday packages to Langkawi, Bali, Phuket and KK. My friend and I concurred that there was some conspiracy going on in distributing the prize - seems that they are able to prolong the lucky draw thingy till the end of the show, and only then thye got their four winners...hmmm... wonder if the earlier numbers are to people who memang were not there... As usual , there were the bloopers done on Sexy Back and London Bridge

The ending performance by Pop Shuvit was the one that rock the house. You can sense the change in the mood of the audience as soon as they sang "Old School Rocka" (I'm still wondering it they did it live or recorded the sound effect part...)

The night was simply too warm for the after concert party, with the overpriced beers not helping much, so we ended up in Laundry for the after party chilling out. The way we got a seat amongst the weekend crowd is another story altogether...

Thai Backpack

2006-11-06T09:14:00.000+08:00

After the first Thailand trip early this year to complete by open water diving course, I've been missing the food and the massages from the land of a thousand smiles, althought its more like fake smiles actually. I've read somewhere that Thais will still smile even when they're angry. Anyways, when my diving partner suggested a one week getaway to Krabi, Trang and Hatyai, I jumped at the opportunity to relive this experience, never mind that I've never heard of Krabi , or Trang for that matter! A short research on the lonely planet guide to Thailands Island and Beaches made up my mind - It seems that Railey which is near Krabi is a haven for rock climbing. I'll definitely be trying this.

Day 1

The basic plan for our trip is to travel up to Phuket by flight, and make our way down south from there. But maybe that's not the best plan to have , since we get charged a crazy RM105.90 for airport tax regardless of a one way or return ticket. Even the flight to phuket cost less - only RM99.90. Among the 5 of us, I only knew 2 prior to this trip - Chee Wei an super activist in a charity organisation called "Wen Xin Yuan" and my diving partner Hui Leng. As for Mulan and Wen Jie, I met them for the first time at the LCCT. Since Wen Jie is from Seremban, and they just came up to LCCT from Seremban, one of the first thing that comes to mind is - Seremban Siew Pau!! But unfortunately, I only have the photos of the Siew Pau - they ate them before coming to the LCCT. I guess even the local cannot tahan the lure of this kuih.

The flight to Phuket takes 1 hour 15 min, but effectively, we only used up 15 mins because of the time difference. With of all the news of the bloodless coup in Thailand proliferated in the net, I was half expecting our arrival to be greeted by some military personnel, bundling all of us ignorant holiday makers from this flight into a truck and suffocate to death for daring to enter a country during an upheaval. Forutunately no such incident happened. Its business as usual for Phuket. The only difference in the security proceedures is Thai authorities actually take a picture of you using a webcam upon entry.

After a hefty Rm50 ride on a comfy Van to Ao Nang thanks to the inept planning on yours truly regarding the transportation, we finally arrived at our destination at nightfall. Immediately we set foot searching for dinner, with the trusty Lonely Planet in hand. One thing we found out is that every single eating places mentioned by the book would be thronged by Mat Sallehs, and thus its quite certain that the spiciness would be toned down. We finally settled at Wanna's Place, with me intending to try some of the Swedish cuisine there. A final look at the prices reeled me in and I ordered some Thai mince meat with rice. Yummy. While booking our accommodation arrangement with the travel agency, we found out that Ao Nang is actually a Muslim majority area. That explains the ommision of pork from most of the menus there, though beer is freely available.

The Posh Restaurant for our first dinner.

Some sight seeing ensued. Almost all the tourist in Ao Nang are Ang Mohs, and we're like minority in this Asian town. True to the Asian stereotype, we start to snap photos happily with our cameras on every possible angle of the promenade. Noticed that Westeerners prefer to soak in the atmosphere instead of capturing it into digital megapixels. Prices were high as expected but seasoned haggler amongst us managed to bring down lots of the prices down to below 1/2 price level. Not so much luck on my side. It only dawned upon me that I actually paid RM90 for a piece of artwork. I guess I must be the answer to some of the trader's prayers.

Day 2

Day 2 started brightly enough, after the drenching downpour last nite. We did not realise the significance of today until the hotel owner greeted us with "Selamat Hari Rayo!" Its Raya Day today!

First off was the elephant trekking. All the news about elephants being tortured by these operators are quite unfounded after gettin gto know the navigator and the animals. Indeed, these elephants actually gained the respect of the citizens because its their national symbols. I wonder, since Thais get to ride on their elephants, can we tame a tiger enough to ride on it?

The next stop after the elephant trekking is the Tiger Cave temple. The sadist Mulan happily omitted the fact that we need to climb 1200 steps to reach the top of the temple. And the rest of us ignorant folks just went along with it. As usual, calamity strikes again, instead of heading straight to the climb up the stairs, we went of a jungle trekking merry go round. The lack of english signboards did not help things.

the deceptive looking stairs that does NOT lead to the temple on top

This is the real deal

Anyways, the climb was quite a challenge, with the stairs being quite steep, but the view at the top is worth the climb. Furthermore, there's a wishing bell on top to fulfill your hajat. Yes bell.

I've conquered Wat Sam Thuea!

After all the activities, we headed for the emerald pool and the hot water springs to cool down and relax. As Wen jie said, the emarald pool is nothing but a super expensive swimming pool. We pais a good RM20 to swim in the fungus infested pool. And we have to even hike into the national park to reach it. (By the way, there is a separate local rate of RM2 per entry. How nice...). The hot springs however, quelled all our frustrations. alongthe way to the water, you can see steam coming up along the paths. One dip and you'd feel all the aching muscles fade away...

Tasty No More

2006-08-14T14:45:00.000+08:00

The Tasty where we used to hang out for dinner after work is no more. The announcement of its closure really came as a surprise to us. It was quite lucky that jwlaw and I went to the restaurant on Monday. Whilst taking our order, the proprietor just suddenly blurted that Tasty will be closed after Tuesday. When we didn't really register a shocked expression on our face, she continued, "for good". That did the trick.
With one more day to go, what should I order? I havent even finished sampling all the weird exotic named dishes... So we went back for a final gathering on Tuesday. My plan to order both the 3 cup chicken and the tasy ty special spicy beancurd was foil. The 3 cup chicken was sold out. Anyways, to soften the blow, the owner actually belanja us free drinks. So that was the first time i drank the ginseng tea there (nothing to shout about here.) Then while waiting for our food came another surprise - free appetizer of some fried stuffed minced meat. The pessimist in me guess that she was just clearing out the stock.
It funny how much you'll cherish something when you know it'll come to an end. And so did I savour every single succulent piece of taufu on my plate. (a bit over here). Corny as it may sound, I hope there'll be another spot to replace the ambience and good food that just coax out all the laughter and conversations from us. The Shanghai mee restaurant perhaps? :)

Natalie flies away

2006-08-04T07:12:00.000+08:00

Natalie flies away

Gone are the days of innocious but slightly raunchy jokes. My morning would never be the same without her cheerful banter with fly guy. There's just something in her voice that bring you down to reality after a night of sweet dream or nightmare, a certain down-to-earth layperson kind of style.

When I first noticed her on Fly FM, I thought she was of Indian descent as she has a quirky certain accent to it. To my surprise, this gutsy deejay is actually half German. Come back Natalie. Fly guy, what did you do to her that made her leave???? (Natalie withdrawal syndrome setting in)

PBIM 2006 Part 1: The preparation

2006-08-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

PBIM 2006 Part 1: The preparation

It all started with an unexpected phone call from a dear friend who is eternally doomed to serve the draconian lords deep in the heart of Felda Jengka, Mich. Yes, news of the impending Penang Bridge Run seems to reach far and wide, even in areas with shoddy TV receptions.
Fearful of the constant harrassment and ridicule I'll have to suffer from her should I not complete the race, I started to take the weekend jogs around Sg. Nibong field a bit more seriously. 22 km is not a short distance to cover. With the average distance of approx. 700 meter per round, I would need to complete a staggering 31 rounds around the field! Stll, I persevered and by the time of the race day, I could actually maintain my stamina for 10 rounds non stop. 31 rounds is still too gargantuan a task for yours truly.

Besides the Mich factor, the constant tip and tricks published by Fang Fang and company really help, especially on the banana diet! However, I would have wished that google Earth never have existed. I nearly 'patah semangat' when the actual satelite image of the bridge was circulated by the team. My god, is the bridge really THAT long?

The days leading to the race were one of the more interesting ones. We really ate good food. Herbal chicken concocted by jlaw on Friday Nite, Carbo loading for Saturday lunch, sweet potatoes to detox during for tea time, and Chinese "zhu chao" fortified with marmite chicken (okay this isn't the healthiest of food, but still...) Alrite, looks like we're all set for the run!